if you’re gonna make me the third wheel on the sidewalk at least let me stand in front so i can pretend i’m leading my army into battle
why the fuck cant we text the police
lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you
Here in Canada you can
Here in England we just… scream and run
Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer
Here in Australia you are the murderer
- Period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
- Period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
- Period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
- Period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
- Period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
- Period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
- Period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
- Period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
- Period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
- Period: Yell at a puppy.